There are times in life where you just don’t understand exactly what you are going through and why you have to go through certain struggles. I have been very vocal on my blog about the struggle I had in school, growing up. There were times I couldn’t make heads or tails of the events going on around me. I didn’t understand treatment by certain individuals, teachers and fellow students alike (friends and non-friends). As young child and even teenagers,humans tend to question why they were born into the family they were born into, why they live where they live, why they look the way they do, and the list goes on because I believe children and teens were designed to question! So as we go through the struggles I mentioned in the beginning we start questioning what is going on. I know it sounds as though I am rambling a bit BUT I promise I have a point to make tonight, I just need to get some background information for you. Let me tell you a story that has been many years in the making – an appointment God made years ago and then again recently.
Growing up I never saw myself as poor or rich, I had Jesus, a mom, a dad and a brother – a small family but a happy family. Both of my parents worked, we attended church together every time the doors were opened , we always seemed to get the things we needed and many of the things we wanted. I can remember taking the best vacations, we went to Disney World when I was in second grade, we went to the mountains when I was in third grade and Cape Kennedy when I was in fourth grade. The years we didn’t take big trips we had the BEST vacations ever — we went to Kingsley Beach and camped out! I even had a handful of friends who I felt like I could share everything with and be myself around. I simply had a wonderful life!
Like I said, I had a handful of friends. Well, there was this one friend — we called ourselves cousins, I am sure we are related somehow down the road–she was that one friend that we seemed to always be at each others houses. If she wasn’t at my house, I was at her house — most of the time she was at my house because I didn’t like staying away from home. My friend did everything with me, she seemed as part of the family! Our friendship started when we were in Kindergarten and simply grew through Elementary school. I am sure everyone has that friend from childhood that they have many memories with. The list of memories I have with this friend starts with dress up, Sunday School, church, school, and many many more. My friend and I seemed to be close for many years but in middle school we began drifting apart. I thought we drifted because I was in band she was into softball – these two activities seemed to pull us into two different directions. Before long this friend I shared many memories with as a child was simply a memory and a person I would see in the halls at school from time to time since we didn’t have classes together it was rare to cross paths otherwise. Middle school came and went, high school came and went so did our friendship. We both took different paths and our paths did not cross.
Fast forward to 21 years after high school (21 years OH MY GOSH, NO WAY!!!) my old friend moved back home – in the age and time of Facebook and Twitter, she and I had reconnected and communicated several times prior to her moving back home. All of these years had passed and our lives went in different directions but one thing seemed to connect us after all this time an appointment God had made for us. Today 21 years after high school my friend and I were able to start exercising together, by exercise I mean walk. God had allowed for us to make a connection again after all of this time. Little did I know there was a reason for this appointment, one that I had no clue about. I will let my friend’s comments finish this story: “This morning I woke up a little nervous. You see I was saved in my mid 20s and my first desire was for God to place a few people back into my life so that I would be able to apologize for the things that I had done to them growing up. I didn’t realize until I was an adult that the hurt that was done to me I was doing to others (just in a different form). I remember growing up and going home with a friend. At this friends house she had a mom, a dad, and a brother in the home (unlike me). Her parents loved each other and showed it in every way possible. (unlike me). I remember she had a water bed and a record player. We would lay awake at night and listen to this one particular song. “Dear Mister Jesus”. It was a song told by a little girl about all the abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) children were going through and in the end she talks about how she is being abuse. Man how I wanted to tell my story. But instead of telling my story, I started resenting this friend and starting being really mean to her. I wanted what she had and didn’t understand what made her so special and not me. I was really mean to this friend and after a while I never spoke to her. fast forward MANY years. After being saved I prayed for God to put this particular person back into my life so that I could apologize to her face to face. Her and I kept making plans to meet up and walk but something just kept coming up BUT God gave me that opportunity today. When I woke up this morning I did some chores and then I got on my knees and started praying. I prayed God would provided the opportunity, the words, the wisdom, the peace, for me to be able to go through with it. AND HE DID. It took over 20 years but I apologized and a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. It was an amazing feeling. If you ever have the opportunity to right your wrongs….pray about it and do it.”
Now, for the rest of the story, I didn’t remember any of the treatment she had to apologize for. I had forgiven and forgotten about it a long time ago. It has been erased from my memory to the point I can’t tell you a single thing she did to me which was mean (that is why it isn’t in my blog). God is wonderful and truly does put people in your path for a reason! Little did I back when I was a third, fourth and fifth grader my family and I were planting seeds which would manifest years later. God is so awesome and I am so thankful I am being used by Him daily. I am thankful my childhood friend has a close relationship with God now and is a great example for those around her. The appointment God made for me today is one I could not have made myself — He has restored and healed!