Threshold

Now that our house is so close to being finished, which I am very excited about by the way, one of my struggles in life comes to the surface. When Robert and I were reading the Bible earlier this evening, we started discussing our struggles and without me having to tell him what my struggle was he knew exactly what it was.  You, my reader probably have a clue as to what my daily struggle is without me even stating.  I can already see everyone’s wheels spinning thinking what it is.  Well, you can stop thinking, my struggle isn’t my weight necessarily.  Yes, it has a lot to do with my struggle and is probably the root and at the bottom of my struggle.  My inward struggle I have, I have had for many years, it is my self confidence and self esteem.  I simply don’t have any and am attacked on every level where it comes to it.

For example, the big attack of my self esteem/confidence comes to life the closer I see our house getting to be finished. What is the one thing every lady wants her husband to do when they move into a new house?  Well, in all honesty I know in the real world a husband carrying his wife over the threshold doesn’t happen but if it did, it can’t happen with us. I know I weigh too much to expect my husband to life me up off my feet, little less can he lift me up to cross over the threshold of our new house.  I can’t even begin to ask him.

My struggle goes even deeper, but that issue will be for another day.  I am just so glad my husband loves me the way I am and for how I look. I know it has to be a struggle for him to see me struggle.

Now, I will watch Extreme Weight Loss and struggle a little more, dream a little more and hope that one day I can get the help I need to reach my goals and dreams.

*Sorry for any typos and errors, I published this rant and rave from my Android phone.





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