Over the past year I have shared with you the journey Robert and I have taken since we have been married. I have shared our ups and our downs, our happiness and our fears. Today, I want to share with you – on the two year anniversary of Robert walking into church to surprise me – my journey to Robert.
My journey to find my “Sharpe” began along time ago when I decided to not get married as an 18 year old girl straight out of high school but decided to attend college to educate myself and become one of the first college graduates in my family. Thankfully, I was able to earn my Bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education, I earned a double Master’s degree in Education, I even was able to work on a PhD (I am 4 or 5 classes from being finished). Not only did I work on my education but I also traveled around the world and across America. Was this when my journey led me to Robert? No, unfortunately this was not the end of my journey to Robert, I had to face obstacles and heartbreak along the way. The greatest struggle I faced happened a year after a heartbreak and only months before my journey did lead me to Robert. The following is my journey in words, because of space I have left some details out but what I have placed here will let you see my journey was one God placed in motion way before I knew what He was doing.
There is nothing like giving a spelling test and having a student embarrass you in the middle of the test by blurting out a few words which should have never been blurted out. That is what I thought, then one day in 2011 (I had to verify this time span on Facebook because now this day seems like an eternity ago) not only did a student blurt out embarrassing words the student also wrote me a note which used the same exact words. Some of you know exactly what these words were, don’t you? While others of you are asking, “what in the world are you talking about?” My journey to Robert, not that I realized it at the time, actually began seriously in 2011. I realize now in 2011 I was able to develop a definition of what type of man I wanted God to bring me. This is the year I had a student announce to me her father was single. Not only did she announce this to me and my class of fourth graders but she managed to play matchmaker in her quest to make herself feel complete, make her teacher happy and in some way help restore her father who she knew deep down she was losing. I, feeling sorry for this student and her story went along with her plot, I thought what would one date hurt. Well, just like you know one date can easily lead to another, emotions start to build and dreams start to form. This happened to me while all along I was receiving clues and messages from God to direct me away from this nightmare which was about to happen. I cannot tell you how many times in a period of 4 months I heard God tell me, “This is really the type of person you want to be with?” I even had friends warning me about the person I was hanging around but I was always able to reason it away. There always seemed to be an excuse, I slowly began to accept things which I had never accepted in my life. But, because I was wanting this as my life and I thought I was in love I continued in this relationship a fourth grader had arranged. Well, thankfully God knew best and He intervened in the relationship which ended with me heartbroken, alone and questioning God as to why this was happening to me. I kept asking Him, didn’t I deserve to be happy, why was I the one which always sacrificed my life for others and still ended up unhappy? All along I received no answer, so I thought.
Over the next year this person which broke my heart always kept in touch with me, he seemed to be able to bring a smile to my face while dashing my dreams at the same time. He was truly playing me and I in my heartbroken self didn’t see it, all I could see was this person and family I thought I was supposed to have. Thankfully, during this year God brought me to an online ministry for single individuals. At the time I thought this would be tool to help me become stronger, have bible study and give me a support group to go to when I needed support. I did not realize it would be such a huge tool in my life. May 2012, the ministry leader, Dana (who is now a very close friend) called me because I was still struggling with this relationship which ended a year prior, she also had other things to discuss with me. The things she needed to discuss with me would start to change my life forever. Little did I know the prayer we prayed that evening, the topics we discussed would bring me strength I would need over the next few days, and ultimately help lead me to Robert and help lead Robert to me.
Join me tomorrow for the rest of my journey to Robert….