Being happy for others

I know I will be sounding selfish in this post, if not even like a spoiled brat BUT sometimes I hide my true feelings and today I really want to release them.

I am sitting here watching a football game, Go Gators!, and I begin to surf the Internet just to keep myself occupied and to keep for yelling so much. As I am scrolling through and looking at different people’s post I see two different families are building a house. These individuals are so happy with where their new house is.  I begin to feel jealous.  Here two different families are getting the house of their dreams and where is Robert and my dream house?   I want to be happy for these families,  but how can I be happy when I can’t see our dream unfolding. 

When I look across the road at our land it still looks like a war zone! The roots are still there waiting to be bulldozed.  Our house plans…well we haven’t heard from the draftsman about them in weeks, it is almost like we haven’t even began working on them to start with. This week we have faced many obstacles which tells me we are close to our break through, but how close is what I keep asking myself.

Robert and I did decide we want to possibly go a different route building our house then we originally planned. Even with this change I keep wondering how is it all going to come together. .. how can we possibly go from where we are to our final goal of a house? 

I really do want to be happy for others and their happiness, I want to celebrate with others in their happiness.   I also, want a place for Robert and I to call home. What I want isn’t much, but there are days like today where it seems like it is possible for so many others but when it comes to us, nothing!  So I will be happy for these families and will keep praying, hoping and dreaming.

Okay my selfish rant is over!!!


Favorite Room

What is your favorite room in your house?  In my house we are planning my favorite room is… oh man!, where do I begin.  I really like the way the living room has a stone fire place in it, but I also like the way the master bedroom is designed with the separate closets and the oh, yeah the bathroom has a really cool tub in it.  There is also the awesome kitchen and yeah the dining room… As you can tell I am excited about the various parts of our house we are designing.  I repeat designing… I really feel like that is all we are doing, it is so hard to see the finished project in my head.  It has seemed as though we have had many obstacles, just like we have had since be have been married so why is it a surprise to me we also have hit a wall with our house.

The wall we have hit with our house includes the following:  rain, rain, rain and more rain!  There has also been the issue with the bulldozer which is being used to clear the land broke down, the gentleman helping us clear the land has been sick and we cannot, I repeat,  cannot get our house plans finalized.  It seems as though all these visions I had in my head about what I want my house to look like and what room will be my favorite have made the plans tough to produce and get correct.

I know our house and our dreams are all worth the trials and struggles. In the end we will be excited about our new house, we will reflect back to the past 10 months and see how, being considered, homeless has helped us grow and develop as a family. BUT there are days when all I want is to be able to say my favorite room in my house is………..